February 4, 2011

Hibernation

A week ago or so, a friend told me that someone else (an acquaintance of mine) assumed that since I had dropped out (I like to call it “letting go”) of so many things that I used to be involved with – I won’t bore you with the list, but, really, it was crazy – that I had cancer again and that it was BAD. Yes, I am a cancer survivor, but I am very well. It has been almost 10 years since my diagnosis (the 10 year anniversary of that lucky day when I was in a car accident that led to an xray which revealed tumors filling my chest is coming up in just a couple of weeks…wow). Thank you very much for the concern. I really do appreciate it. And I do recognize that I was doing way too much these past several years. But, no I am not sick. In fact, I am very, very healthy.

For the past couple of months, I’ve been in hibernation. I’ve been slowing down a lot. In a good way. Reconnecting with my home, my family, NOT spending hours sucked into my computer, but spending “quality time” with my family and with…myself. So maybe it has been hibernation from the online world and from the world of volunteering for this, that and the other thing. And it feels GOOD.

I’ve been doing some cleansing too – of the body, home and soul. I am feeling lighter every day.

I really did intend to write every day on this blog in December and do the #reverb10 prompts (which I really, really like), but then more powerful intentions took over and I just went with it. I have been writing, just not publicly. I’ve been journaling and taking notes. I’m taking a class in Ayurvedic living (yoga off the mat) and am immersing in Anusara yoga. I have been working (as a lawyer for a tech company) – not a ton, just a perfect amount. I’m not taking on new clients. My intentions for life are stronger than they’ve ever been. My kids are happier. My house is more in order.

On this blog, I won’t be writing anything remotely commercial any longer. I’ve taken down some links (I’ve kept some) and I hope it cleans it up a bit. I’ll likely do some more cleaning. The clutter of a busy online life has added to the STUFF in my life. I am changing things up. I’m not sure exactly where it will all go, but it is changing. I am going super simple, simple, simple.

Posted in It's all about ME, Simple | 7 Comments »

December 5, 2010

Let Go – #Reverb10

Kristin von Ogtrop's book about working moms, 'Just Let Me Lie Down'

December 5 – Let Go

Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)

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This year I have let go of overcommitment, of busy-ness.

For the past six years I have been going crazy a bit.

I have been on the board of one organization or another. I have worked part-time (and sometimes full-time) from my home and cafes all over Silicon Valley. I have said yes to this project and that speaking engagement and to bringing the snack.

I have worked hard and learned a lot, but also made many friends. These organizations and commitments have been a big part of my community, especially since I have had kids.

But…I needed a break.

Last spring I had lunch with Kristin van Ogtrop, the editor of Real Simple magazine, as part of a Silicon Valley Moms Blog Book Club event. She was talking about her new book “Just Let Me Lie Down.” As much as I resonated with things Kristin talks about in her book from a working mom perspective, she said something that day that struck me as a way I do not want to live my life. She said something along the lines of having to give up friends, as her life was too busy.

I nodded, but my brow furrowed. What happened to my friends? I mean, really happened? What time did I have for them? Life HAD gotten too busy.

This was a sad, sad statement to me.

So I let go of a lot of things this year in order to claim some time and sanity back for myself and for my family.

Some were hard to give up – being on the board of my kids’ preschool, for instance. I love those people and I liked being a part of shaping what our school would be up to. But I decided I could do that in other ways. It is Ava’s last year at Explorer and I want to just soak it up and be there as a “regular” parent. I’m enjoying my time with my school friends without the added responsibilities of board work.

I’m much happier for letting go. And for getting back.

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This post is part of the #reverb10 challenge. Read all of my #reverb10 posts here and please let me know if you are doing the challenge too, so I can read your posts too!

Posted in #reverb10, Challenges, It's all about ME, SV Moms | 3 Comments »

December 5, 2010

Wonder – #Reverb10

Potluck at my place for The Earthbound Cook. Photo by Jane Maynard, This Week for Dinner.

December 4 – Wonder

Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis)

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This year I started to enjoy cooking, something I never thought I would say. It came about (indirectly) through getting back to yoga, like many things this year. I read an article in a spring issue of Yoga Journal about soup – the writer’s description of finding joy in cooking really amazed me. I had started to see food in different ways before this, having gone from coffee to tea last February and eating more living foods in general. But after reading this article, I was sort of in awe of food. The mystery of cooking started to seem like something accessible to me.

I started to cook. Some simple things. With recipes, ALWAYS with recipes. I asked my husband for help – he knows how to cook and I am not afraid to ask him how to boil water if I don’t know how. Kidding, I know how to boil water :)

But when I cook, I am truly a beginner. I am open to suggestions, even…criticism? Yes, I don’t care if you tell me it sucks. I am learning, I expect for some things to suck. I am a little like a small child when it comes to knowing what to do in the kitchen. I am not afraid to ask in the grocery store what fennel is – I honestly don’t know and I can only find out by asking.

I wonder about all things food.

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This post is part of the #reverb10 challenge. Read all of my #reverb10 posts here and please let me know if you are doing the challenge too, so I can read your posts too!

Posted in #reverb10, Cooking | 1 Comment »

December 5, 2010

Moment – #Reverb10

The Golden Gate Bridge, taken as I ran across it at 2am during The Relay race with my team http://www.EatBlogRun.com

December 3 – Moment

Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors). (Author: Ali Edwards)

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My second leg of The Relay race, a 200-mile race run with a team of 12 from Calistoga to Santa Cruz, California, made up for my first. My first leg was rated as “easy” (4.5 miles and flat) but, being hot and mid-day, conditions I never willing choose to run in, and through never-ending boring streets of downtown Napa (not the beautiful winery part), it turned out to be “very hard” for me. More important than the conditions, I had also taken Benadryl soon before my run – I know that seems odd, but I had a terrible case of poison oak, which I am highly allergic to, so it had been my habit to just pop some pink pills every 6 hours or so for the previous week and I saw no reason why the race would make that different. Offers of water and Gatorade from my passing team van (my awesome team was called Eat. Blog. Run.) were turned down by me – no, no, I’m fine. After I turned them down a few times, they went on ahead to the next hand-off point. By the time I handed off to my teammate Carrie I was decidedly not fine. Man, I was beat.

12 hours later, I was up for a “hard” run – 7.1 miles with lots of hills. I had rethought my strategy. I skipped my Benadryl, figuring out that was why I was so incredibly tired. I decided that I was going to take every offer of Gatorade. In fact, I asked my team to make Gatorade stops every half mile. And, I was excited. This leg might be long and tough, but it was a gorgeous calm and cool night (actually, it was 2am), I had bonded with my teammates (Van 1: YOU ROCK!), AND I got to run through the lovely town of Saulsalito and across the Golden Gate Bridge to San Francisco.

I got the handoff from Christine (read about Christine’s #reverb10 moment, funnily enough, about the leg she ran right before she handed off to me). As I started out, my teammates yelling “Go Linsey!” from behind me, I switched on my iPod. Two minutes later, I shut it off.  My soundtrack for this run would be the wind, waves and the quiet. I didn’t want to be distracted by anything else.

Although I had told myself I would walk the hills since I had been so tired earlier (oh, and I had done NO hill training whatsoever), as I started mile 1, I felt so good that I ended up just powering up the first hill. The #EatBlogRun van was waiting for me at the top of the hill, Christine standing out there in a pink snuggie with Gatorade, Jane, Marie, Samanatha, Sherry and Heather yelling out the windows “JOB!!!”. I wondered what all had happened during Christine’s leg, since she had just had to run through a deserted bike path area where vans could not follow – she had been nervous about it and we had lost walkie talkie contact with her most of the time. But I would have to wait until my leg was over to hear all about it.

I swigged Gatorade. And I powered up another hill.

I ran past art galleries in Saulsalito, looking at the city lights of San Francisco. I ran up and around the winding roads climbing to the entrance to the Golden Gate Bridge. I passed walking runners. I was passed by running runners. It was all good. My headlight showed me the way, my turquoise Run Team Sparkle skirt showed cars that I was coming (these skirts are fashionable AND reflective – perfect for night running :) ).

My team kept stopping every half mile and I keep sipping the Gatorade. Mental or physical, I don’t know. But I was glad to accept the help of my team this time around. I rocked on up another hill.

As I came to the start of the Golden Gate Bridge, I thought of a mom from Ben and Lily’s elementary school, Heidi, who had just died the day before after a fight with breast cancer that had spread to her brain, to everywhere. I thought of the fact that I was now heading in my 10th year as a cancer survivor. I thought of all the people fighting for their lives. I thought of how lucky I am to be able to physically do this run. To have basic health. To be there for my kids.

I said out loud “this one’s for you, Heidi.” And I rocked across that bridge.

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This post is part of the #reverb10 challenge. Read all of my #reverb10 posts here and please let me know if you are doing the challenge too, so I can read your posts too!

Posted in #reverb10, Cancer sucks, Challenges, Getting Fit | 2 Comments »

December 3, 2010

Writing – #Reverb10

Stats from a post I wrote on 750words.com about Poison Oak - http://metooyoublog.com/2010/08/31/756-words-about-poison-oak/

December 2 – Writing.

What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it? (Author: Leo Babauta)

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Picking the kids up from school, taking them to school, washing their hair, helping them with their homework, working in their classroom. Grocery shopping. Laundry. Dishes. Sweeping. Work. Email. Contract review. Reading books for book club.

Basically, I have very, very, very little time to myself. I wake up to a noisy house with tons of things going on, to get done, to clean up, to prepare, to be on top of. I am never ahead. I never have “free” time. Once the day starts, I am basically screwed.

I have eliminated a lot of obligations that are non-essential over the past year. I had said yes to so many things, things I wanted to do, that were important….but really were not essential. But still, such busy days.

I would like to MAKE TIME for writing each day. Jeff just started being in charge of the morning scramble to get everyone out to door to school, so that I can have some time to myself each morning. This is where that time can come from.

I have felt the need to fill up that time with an hour of quiet work (not writing, but work that I get paid for….ah, the bottom line), but I really need to have this time for myself. And be selfish and insistent upon it. Get up early (6:30 maybe), go for a walk or run, sit quietly for 15 minutes and then write for 30 minutes. Every morning. I think I can do it. I know I can.

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This post is part of the #reverb10 challenge. Read all of my #reverb10 posts here and please let me know if you are doing the challenge too, so I can read your posts too!

Posted in #reverb10, Home life, It's all about ME | 1 Comment »

December 3, 2010

One Word – #Reverb10

Beach yoga in Laguna Niguel. Photo by Carla Duharte of babyjidesign.com.

December 1 – One Word.

Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you? (Author: Gwen Bell)

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PRESENCE

Last December, I decided that my word for 2010 was going to be PRESENCE. I wanted to stop multi-tasking and Doing. So. Much. Too. Much. I was done with being super-mom, super-attorney, super-volunteer. I wanted to spend more one-on-one time with my kids, with my husband. And I started to do yoga regularly again…after a 10 year break.

It has been amazing. Presence has transformed my life, continues to transform my life. Not only did I go to that first yoga class, I added many new habits to my life each month that has made me healthier and more present in my life overall. And I remembered some things, in this new space that I created by reducing some non-essential obligations that had been taking my energy away from my family and friends. I remembered more about who I am as a person. As many parents of young kids, my identity has been really entangled with my kids these part almost 7 years (Ben and Lily will be 7 in less than 2 months – crazy!).

My word for 2011 is ADVENTURE. I’m going on some. I’m not sure what yet, but this is where my roots lie. My parents are super-adventurous, I married a guy who loves adventure and its something I want to share with my kids more.

And…I. Can’t. Wait.

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This post is part of the #reverb10 challenge. Read all of my #reverb10 posts here and please let me know if you are doing the challenge too, so I can read your posts too!

Posted in #reverb10, yoga | 3 Comments »

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